Happy-ever-after seems like a fairytale, but could you make the decision to be happy forever if it were a possibility?
Part of my amazing life is getting to meet people from all different ages and backgrounds. (Yes I said my life is amazing! If I do not, who will? Ha!) Love is what drives me and I seek it in practically every encounter. This week, I was challenged to think about the concept of having a happily ever after.
I met a woman in her 80s who has been married for 66 years! My mind cannot even begin to comprehend the inner strength that one must possess to stay with someone for such a vast duration. My question to you is: do we still hold onto the idea that love can last forever? Without entering into a protracted debate, let us consider what it means to dedicate your life to another.
The saying goes that “you can design your tomorrow” … or … “no one knows tomorrow”, however I am of the opinion that you can design your tomorrow”
Identify the warning signs
If like me, you are a hopeless romantic and the thought of being with your husband till death parts you, makes you melt inside, then you need to put things in place pretty quickly. Providing you are heading towards making a lifelong commitment to someone, you need to have the talk. By this I mean that it would be advantageous to address if you are both living a lie? Perhaps he wants a short-lived romance when you want longevity, or vice versa. Forever is a long time to share with a person who is constantly searching for an exit door.
The saying goes that “no one knows tomorrow”, however I am of the opinion that you can design your tomorrow. I urge you not to leave it up to fate, but rather purpose in your heart to create your future. Perhaps a biased opinion however, women are gifted with foresight, so use that to your advantage and make the right decisions, even if the process will be painful. On the contrary, if you are not in a relationship, you can wipe the sweat off your forehead; you have the chance to make an adequate analysis without having emotions to cloud your thinking.
The good, the bad & the ugly
As with everything, a lifelong partnership with your spouse will have its pros and cons. A good aspect is that you will have someone to live out your destiny with, they might not understand your dreams but they will support you regardless. Through this, you must be willing to take on the bad. Someone once told me that a marriage consists of two people who can forgive. Being tied to someone means you must learn to look over their faults and put in effort to make it work. Let us not forget the ugly. As much as you try, you cannot change people. A person can adapt their behaviour to appease you, yet old habits are hard to break. If your partner does not resolve to consciously alter the things that aggravate you, it is something you are going to have to live with. Pray, scream, cry; it will not change a thing. We all have freewill and only we can choose how to act, function or reason.
Do not lose hope
My faith has rescued me from some dire situations. I have hit rock bottom and the fall was so bad that I created a crack, which threw me even deeper below the surface. Does that mean I have given up on love? Of course not. No matter how many times I clean my house, it will get messy. I view relationships in a similar light. You have to make a deliberate effort to work at it. If it is worth fighting for, get that duster out and clear away the complacency that you have allowed to set in.
I once had the opportunity to spend time with an elderly couple that had been married for decades. It was a privilege to watch how they interacted with each other and even though the man had been ill for a long while, his wife took care of him with great passion and sacrifice. Seeing this reinforced my confidence that God encourages companionship and as a result, will work things out together for your good. I can guarantee you that they had encountered many difficult times, yet their ability to persist through it has brought them to this point.
I would like to leave you with this; people say life is too short. I beg to differ. Life is a lengthy journey, so the consequences of your choices now, can stay with you for a very long time. Be prepared to accept that those annoying tendencies that your partner has now may never change. However, if you are willing to take it all in your stride, then do not lose heart. Forever is a long time, but what is life without love?
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