Two Thousand and Nineteen
The plan was to enter 2019 chilling at hope with my daughter, strategising and planning my way into the symbolic global new beginning but instead, we accompanied my family to midnight mass even though church with an hyperactive toddler I’ve come to find out can be a little challenging.
I usually spend the days coming up to the new year preparing for it. This preparation has somewhat become a ritual and includes uninteresting but feel-good activities like changing my bed sheets to fresh white ones. Having a hair removal session (weird but it somehow became my thing), detoxing and most commonly like many, spending much time thinking about what I want for myself in the new year. But this year was different. Partly because I have been transitioning out of 2018 since October, shortly after coming back from my summer trip in Ivory Coast. The end of my academic journey as an MA student in Public Relations was also symbolic for me as it signified the commencement of a new professional and creative phase.
Not knowing what was going to come next but knowing where I wanted to be, I made the decision to consciously ready myself for what would come by focusing on mental and physical self-care. Changes that I had made to my life included frequent weekly exercise as a way to reinforce self-discipline, commitment and improve my overall wellbeing. Of course, the process of having to push yourself to adopt new habits isn’t an easy one, especially when the unhealthy habits I had accumulated where attached to emotional complexities that I am only starting to want to address and overcome.
Still, doing my best to remain consistent towards my weekly exercising goals has encouraged to further assert my capabilities. It has revealed to me that I am indeed capable of prioritising myself — the results of which I am beginning to see in specific areas of my life, particularly on my mental and emotional wellbeing. Since having my daughter the need to learn how to use my hand to create became so overwhelming that I put myself to the challenge by taking bookbinding courses. It’s been an amazing experience and I can’t stop making books!
I had also spent the beginning of 2018 journaling in an attempt to connect myself further to my thoughts, emotions and spirituality. Whilst I was not able to do this consistently, leaving wide gaps of practice between this new commitment, my intentions to continue to journal persisted and has extended itself to the creation of this digital space. The stability I also prayed and worked for in the form of a specific professional role came and confirmed itself around Christmas — a blessing, indeed!
Instead of starting the new year like I typically to, I entered 2019 as if it were a continuation of what was yesterday. This, in a way makes me feel in sync with myself because whilst ‘new beginnings’ can be exciting can also be anxiety-inducing and somewhat turbulent. This new year, I feel less pressured, more relaxed and most importantly, still. For I entered it surrounded by those whom I cherish the most. My daughter,mother, siblings and those whom I also love, respect and admire in my mind and heart. I also find myself sitting here on the first day of the year, penning this journal entry. If anything, I hope that this is an indication of a habit that will remain consistent as I endeavour to document and share more of my experiences.
I am grateful to Nyame, the universe; my ancestors; family; friends and acquaintances for directly and indirectly contributing to the manifestation of my personal, academic and professional goals. So, rather than only wishing you a happy new year, I wish you a positive and abundant year of personal success. May we make it through fearlessly, purposefully and be more compassionate towards ourselves and others.