Is romance a thing made of fairy tales and dreams alone?
We hear about romance in films, on couples’ retreats and probably in conversations with our friends. Therefore, I want you to consider my query: Is romance necessary? This may sound like an odd question, but like most things, your perspective is brought about by your definition of it. By this I mean that if you think of something to be of little importance, you will view it in that light. This might explain a little why some people view romance as being overrated in relationships.
The dragon, castle and princess
I had a conversation with a friend recently who expressed his annoyance with the so-called beliefs that to him, many women held. Apparently we all dream of ourselves in castles, locked away and in earnest anticipation of the knight who will be brave enough to slay the dragon and declare his undying love for us.
To some extent I agree… a woman with standards is going to want her man to fight for her, regardless of whether the battle is big or small. She wants to be stood up for and know that she was worth the fight, or at least be made to believe that. I cannot speak for every woman, yet I can almost guarantee that many of us have at one point or another asked the question: Am I worth the hassle? Only the man that battles against all odds to win your heart will successfully answer this question.
Not all that glitters…
If you are not in a relationship, then you are probably in a position where guys are going to try their hand at making you Mrs X. So ladies, to discern is the key! Red roses, expensive dinners and jewellery are all lovely; however my concern is, if you know the man’s motive. His words might be soothing to your soul, but behind them hides the truths that you need to truly tear down your defences and let him in.
In reference to our example earlier, he might well present himself as the resilient warrior who will defeat anyone that stands in his way to get to you, but sadly it might be a façade. For those of you who love films with morals, Tyler Perry’s ‘Temptations’ is a real eye opener as to what can happen when you let your eyes lead you and leave your brain at home!
Study your partner
I cannot emphasise how unattractive pride and arrogance is in a man. I talk about this passionately because it really does grate on me. There are some men who think they know it all and therefore dictate to you what romance is. It might have worked for them before and thus, feel they have a tried and tested method for dating. Well it is pretty obvious this is not true as otherwise, they would not be single!
Forgive me for generalising, yet I feel there are scores of women who would really appreciate being asked what they like, what they would enjoy doing and what their favourite flowers are. Learn what your partner or prospective spouse is keen on and not simply offer what you think is a “great idea”. Humble yourself and ask the necessary questions to make it work.
Perhaps you are fortunate and your spouse does not care too much for romance. Nonetheless, if they do, please ensure you make a conscious effort to woo them and provide constant reminders of why they chose you over the other potentials that were knocking at their door. I still believe in romance and yes, you might argue that it is the stuff of fairy tales… then again; is it so impossible to bring your dreams into reality?
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